Usually I don’t have a feeling of deep natural affinity with
anyone or anything apart from my best buddy or my beloved brother unless you
are a cheese burst pizza, paani puri,
tandoori momos, liquor dark chocolates, coconut water, elephant ride or
my CRUSH!
The symposium, Plato presents story about soul mates. It
states that humans originally had four arms, four legs and a single head made
of two faces (here two faces have nothing to do with modern outlook of people
with double standards). It is said that humans had great strength at that time
and threatened to conquer the angels by their lightning (as they had done with
titans). Zeus developed a creative solution by splitting the human into half as
punishment to humanity’s pride. Each
human, now have to search for his/her other half of soul. It is said that, when
the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another,
that they feel unified and would lie with each other in unity and would know no
greater joy than that.
I personally believe you find that one; when you leave all
the logics and calculations at bay: which your head has to offer. You get
swayed by the knock at the door of your heart, your subconscious (the innocent )
mind surpasses all the barriers of right/wrong, possible/impossible,
ethical/unethical; indeed you are dragged like a magnet’s opposite corner, to
its electromagnetic field, as it makes you complete.
Whenever he (TAMATAR) speaks (sings more though) on call, I absorb
him all through my senses. I feel as if he is sitting right next to me, his
breath with the lyrics, falling on my forehead while he attempts to sing….going
down onto my cheek, tickling my nape of neck, and finally playing the melody
over my ear drum. My fingers run through his hair, moving down to his shoulder,
embracing him…my feet over his, and it makes me dance on his tune. All the
stars fall to my ceiling, making my room brighter, their fire spotlights my
love for him. I speak a lot, but with him: I wish to hear much, the more he
speaks, the more he dwells into my imagination. He has not only conquered my
heart but he signatured my veins
carrying my blood! Every time the blood rushes to heart, with each beat it
reminds me of his presence. You can find several definitions of ecstasy in dictionaries;
this one is mine, how! I define this term exclusively when I am with him. I don’t
know if the time travel is possible through photon theories, but his travel to
my soul begins every time he takes my name.
I have no clue where I am walking and where I am going, but
going without knowing is the biggest adventure! He seems to be the drug I am
addicted to. Intelligence is seductive! Calmness is a turn on for me (I might
be fierce situationally, but fire is not extinguished with other fire
container, fire gets extinguished with water/ ice, he is my ice bucket challenge
:P )
And when I was in
process of identifying my feelings I fell into a pothole. He is good, and
humble and everything, but, he is universal source of love to anyone and everyone
seeking it. I am not “special” to sing with or call with loving “gestures”,
this is part of his personality, this is how he usually deals with all the female
pals, he bump into. I was almost about to confess how much I miss him and what
he really means to me, probably I wanted to get tied into a bond with him
forever, because my soul really responds to him, and I have never felt such
connectivity to anyone. It is raining outside and inside as well! Not only my
eyes but my heart is tearing apart as well. My heart says to stay still and
wait for the right time to ask it for once and all but my head is really rude,
it says why you wish to lose your self-worth to someone who considers you
worthless. And like all shown in melodramatic movies, I am losing appetite (not
weight though, my weight is so static that it can make a world record of never
giving up), and he has made me insomniac from several nights by now.
I don’t get the logic; why LIVER has to suffer when we have
a TIFF between HEAD and HEART. And if, by any chance the HEART conquers the
fight, the eyes have to pay the water billsL
(Dr. William H. Frey II ;a biochemist at
St. Paul-Ramsay Medical Center at Minnesota discovered, emotional tears contain
more of protein based hormones, prolactin, adrenocoticotropin hormone, and leucine
enkephalin{ natural pain killer}, so when you have a good cry, your body gets
rid of these chemicals and you feel relieved).
Tears are very well cleaning my eyes but doing nothing
beyond that. All I have to do is, put on the plastic smile, greet people around
me and consider all what emotional turmoil happened as a dream phase. Like I have
sleeping for few days continuously, and now I am wide awake (I can’t be
sleeping for always unless I am dead). Dear crush (addressing you as my love is
more appropriate though), I am not a perfecto, not a beauty queen, or someone
with super powers to conquer all walks of life. But I had a very innocent and
pure heart to be offered to you. You have kicked it off unknowingly and it is
bruised very badly, I have no idea how can I repair or fix it back (no cardiologist
can help me for this).
I wanted to live
my rest half life with you, till we get tired of dancing on your music, till I make
you my master chef ( I know, you know nothing about cooking, but together we
can create a masterpiece),till our bones start giving away ( though calcium
sandos and nutralite can be the savior), till your teeth ditch the denture (a
girl with dimple cant loose teeth, else it will spoil her asset ), till I let
you win all the battles ( but I won’t let you win the race to death, I can’t breathe
in your absence, technically I should stop breathing before you), and till you
see your twins (musicians) growing as parents. Okay! I imagine a lot, but you
are part of my beginning and ending to it.
All I can offer you now: best wishes and a positive vibes
for your brighter future J
With love
Your love
Passionate Troublemaker!
kaun hai bhai ??
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